A Clockwork Carol
by TheLovelyJudy
Summary: During Alex's coma in the hospital he receives a visit from three ghosts. The ghost of his past, present, and future to be more specific. An early Christmas present to all you lovely people who've been so supportive of my messed up stories. Inspired by Charles Dickens "A Christmas Carol" if that wasn't already obvious. Please R
1. Chapter 1

**A Clockwork Carol**

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"Oy, wake up pretty boy. I ain't got all day, jeez. Alex, Alex wake up!" and wake up I did, oh my brothers and malenky sisters, the lights above me were blinding bright and I groaned loudly. My gulliver was like throbbing with pain-sickness. And it twas Pete-y Boy next to me, I almost screamed but he put his rooker over my mouth and hush-hushed your humble narrator. I am not and never have been like poogly of malenky Pete but you viddy, during my second year at the staja they told me that he'd like died in an auto crash. I wasn't particularly saddened by it. Excuse me, if I panic upon seeing the face of my old _**dead**_ droog staring down at me especially after the horrors I've been through already.

"Calm down, I ain't gonna hurt you. And I don't want to be here anymore than you do but this has gotta be done and I'm the unlucky chap who has the rabbit of making sure everything goes according to plan. Now pay attention. You're going to be visited by three ghosts, the ghosts of your past, present, and future. Take their lessons to heart, listen carefully to their words, and yada-yada-yada. Look, it's for your own good, now I gotta go. Expect the first phantom at the strike of one."

After his speech he walked away, and I laid there on the bed not knowing what to do or think. I called out but nobody came, so I just sat for a while. I viddied at the tick tock clock upon the wall, 12:38; I crossed one leg over the other. I'd jumped out of a window, oh my brothers, how was it I was completely healed? This didn't make any sense. But I was perfectly fine, physically, it appeared. I carefully stood up, and without any pain whatsoever started walking around my hospital room. _Hell fucking yeah_ I wondered if there were any pretty nurses around here for me to ravage. _" 'ello darling, why don't you sit on your favorite patient's lap like a good little devotchka right right?" _12:46

But as I walked it appeared that this hospital had been deserted, no other patients and no doctors were to be found. It was starting to weird me out if I can be perfectly honest with you, oh my brothers. 12:58

I looked at the clock again, it was almost time. I leaned against the wall, my rassodock racing and my heart thudding against my chest. 1:03 I sighed, I knew it was just in my head there's no such th—

BOOM CRASH BANG!

_**What in the name of Bog?**_

"Ow sorry, sorry. I'm still trying to get that whole transporting from different realms thing down. I am the ghost of your past, Alex Delarge, take my hand and come with me. No seriously, like right now. We're on a schedule." The ghost looks vaguely familiar to me but I can't place her face, not a lover and not someone I've seen on a day to day basis either. I take hold of her hand as the ground shakes beneath our feet but for some strange reason I am not afraid. I am only curious as to what's to come. "Hold on tight, this is gonna be a bumpy ride"

Not even a moment passes before we're suddenly...Bog, how do I even explain it? It's sort of like we were being sucked through a vaccum you viddy? Everything was real blurry and bright and it was hard to breathe or creech out. It wasn't painful just odd feeling, not very pleasant and when it all stopped I suffered from vertigo for a few minutes. "It's alright now, congratulations you're the first person I've done that with who hasn't thrown up" the woman govoreets jovially, slapping me on the back as if I'm her old chum or something. She's not a young pretty thing, I do not want to give her the old in-out-in-out my brothers. Not at all. I viddy all around me, this place...it's familiar. "Where are we, darling?" I asked her. "Don't you recognize it? Look closely"

my family's old house, before my pee lost his job at the factory when I was ten and we moved..."Oh, this place." I said, "Why are we here?" she rolled her glazzies at me, and I had to control myself from slapping the baboochka across her litso for it. I realized, oh my brothers, that I was in an odd situation and this frail looking soomka was not what she appeared. I had a nice childhood, dear readers, my em was a dotting and loving soomka and my father friendly and warm. That's why everyone is always like so confused, you viddy, when you turn out so rotten and mean. "Look through the window, go on this is the past nobody else can see or hear you" she told me. I walked up to the living room window and peered in. There he was, or there I was I suppose. My hair was a dirty blonde back then, always in my malenky face. I was a handsome little tyke, that's what everyone always told my prideful em. "Alex, baby, come sit with mama" that was my dear old em, not so old here. I'd forgotten how pretty my mother was when she was younger.

Her lucious glory was not a strange crazy colorful wig, but chestnut curls that stopped at her shoulders. For some strange reason, oh my brothers, seeing her so...young made my throat feel tight. She was just so old now, you viddy. When was the last time I told her I loved her? Not just a leaving the house and quickly say it kind of way, when was the last time I said it to her sincerely? "Look at the calender Alex, today is not a good day is it?" I didn't listen to the ghost-soomka, I knew already. My pee walked through the door, not a very handsome chelloveck but much more hair on his head. "Hello little Alex" he greeted, and little Alex ran straight to him. "Up Daddy, I wanna go up!" the man at the doorway lifts the tiny boy up and blows raspberries on his chubby cheek. We really were a sladky little family weren't we, oh my brothers?

That's when the telly-telephone rang and my em answered it. "Yes...of course, Phillip darling it's Eddie from the factory" my pee put the little and innocent version of your humble narrator down and went to answer it while em swooped in to play with her son. "But sir...I can't afford a new j-job right now and we're al-already short on money at the moment, I'll work for half price please sir please reconsider" my father was stammering into the phone a few minutes later, my em put me down and went to him with concern on her once quite pretty litso. I suppose you could say I got these dashing looks from my dear em.

"Do you remember what happened after this night?" ghost-soomka asked. "of course, how could I forget? my dumb old pee looked and looked round for a job, em sat by and boo-hooed and I was dragged from office to office because they couldnt afford to keep me in school or a babysitter. We had to stay with my grand-em for a few weeks, I was homeschooled by P.R. Deltoid and eventually dad found a job at another factory and we moved to the flatblock marina. I was eleven years old." I replied while she listened, nodding every now and then. "It's interesting to me Alex that you call your father dumb. Apparently, you thought the world of him when you were a child. And it's obvious that he loved you with all his heart." I ignored her, "I'm bored of this place or memory whatever you want to call it." I govoreet instead.

||TBC||

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	2. Chapter 2

A Clockwork Carol

Summary: During Alex's coma in the hospital he receives a visit from three ghosts. Genre: Humor, Parody. There will be some serious parts as well but it's mostly humor. Merry early Christmas :D

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The colors rush by us, bright and bold and shimmering against my flesh. And then we like stop, real abrupt my brothers and only friends as the colors part like the red sea to reveal _her_. My first instinct was to go to her, to wrap her up and kiss her sladky rot and—no. This was the past, was it not? She couldn't see me. "What was her name, Alex?" the spirit asks me, "Rachel. She was…nobody just a devotchka I dated for a few years. She died, that's that. Let's move on then, eh?" the spirit put her fingers on my shoulder to keep me from walking away. "What would she think, if she knew the kind of person you've turned into today?" my head snaps to look at her with fire in my glazzies and blades in my goloss.

"She's dead, you blasted soomka. It doesn't matter, me being a like sladky dobby malchick isn't going to bring her back or turn back time so I can tell her—" I cut myself off, turning instead to look at Rachel. She's in her bedroom, finishing up her eyeliner and the doorbell ringy-ring-rings which makes her bounce around the room like an excited puppy dog and yell down to her em "Can you get that mum? Tell him I'll be down in a minute" and I remember oh my brothers that this night was our one year anniversary date. The spirit puts her arm around me, "She was beautiful Alex. She loved you, very much you do know that don't you?" yes of course I knew that; she told me every single day.

"We got in a like britva two weeks after our first year anniversary, you viddy…I govoreeted such nasty wicked things to her and then she was gone and I never…got a chance to give her my like sincerest appy-polly-loggies. She was beautiful, and sweet. She was the sweetest devotchka I've ever known"

I watch as past-Alex swings her around like a lubilubbing good beau would, I watch as past-Alex dips her and kisses her real sladky and deep on the rot. I watch as he flawlessly charms her parents, I watch as they walk out the door. The colors are dancing again, and we are at my apartment in the lobby. She is wearing a floral print tank top and demin shorts, I recognize that outfit and I remember what happened here oh my only friends. "I don't want to see this" I hiss through my clenched zoobies.

"_I __**don't**__ fucking love you, you __**stupid**__ little bitch. I __**NEVER**__ loved you, I was just __**using**__ you darling. You are nothing to me, I fucking hate you. I hate the way you can't keep your sodding rot shut for more than five seconds, I hate your cally taste in warblers, I hate the way you dress, I hate the way you cook, I hate everything about you"_

The silence that followed that rant, my brothers, has stayed in my rassodock forever. There wasn't any anger or ultraviolence in her glazzies; no desire to rip me apart piece by piece. I wish there had been; her anger and hatred would have been much better than what I really saw. She was hurt. Normally people's hurt brought me pleasure but hers only made my stomach twist and knot. Her eyes filled up with tears and I remember wanting to reach out to her to tell I was sorry, I didn't meant any of it but I was a gloopy stubborn nadsat chelloveck and I kept my mouth shut.

"So how much of that was true?" the spirit-dama asks me, I roll my glazzies because she already knows the fucking answer. "None of it" I govoreet sharply, "She's dead now. So just drop it"

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